The yearly let down

      I don't know if it is just me, but do you feel a little let down after the holidays?
All of the glorified hype leading up to the big day, and then BOOM! It's over now.
Not only do you have that to deal with, but even the stresses leading up to the big day, only to get the other let down boom.
   Have we set our expectations too high? Have we expected too much from others? Have we forgotten the true meaning of the Christmas season? Have we done our part in serving others? Are others expecting to much of you?
I believe that in this day and age, the answer to my questions are mostly yes.

    Being a mom at Christmas time can be the most exciting time of the year, and also the most stressful time of year. Add two jobs to that ( paying ones ), kids homework, house work, laundry, dishes, cooking, dance lessons, grocery and Christmas shopping, and well, exhausted isn't even a good enough word. 
    Don't get me wrong, I find so much joy in shopping, and in being a mom, but with it, comes less sleep, skipped meals, and more errands and responsibilities piled onto my already filled plate. Can you relate? But service, that is where the joy kicks in........
  
   Our family has chosen every year ( since we married in 1999) to serve others in a way that we are able. Whether it be our time, our effort or our money, we have made it happen every year.
Our first year married we chose a homeless shelter project. We bought and wrapped toys for the children, put together personal hygiene kits for the adults, and even collected blankets and coats to drop off. It doesn't seem or sound like much, but this tiny project was the one that started it all. This lit the fire for us and set the example that we wanted to lead our life in. Serving others.
  Years to follow, angel trees, sub for Santa, making cards and delivering at rest homes, and  donating money to the nice guys ringing bells. Having our kids pick a child from a charity and having them shop for the kids. All the while, a lot of these years, we didn't even know if we could afford a Christmas of our own. 

I am here to tell you, in the flesh, that even when you are down to your last dime, if you are serving others, the good Lord above will make it happen. Some sort of magic, and all of the sudden, you DID IT! Having faith that his direction will lead you to the end, is something you must have! 
The year the construction market hit it's drop, and Joe was out of work, asking, begging for work anywhere, working at a machine shop for a relative for maybe $10.00 and hour, we managed to buy our two kids Christmas, and three other families. Now, none of us received the perfect, expensive, Christmas, but each kid had not been forgotten and did not go without. I know for a fact that all four of our families, will never forget that Christmas. This is what Christmas is about. I think with all of the stress leading up, the expectations that have been set, and the glorification, we sometimes forget.
  
    Today, I will stay in my jammies most the day, to just rest. I will play with my kids, get a closet cleaned out (maybe), or just maybe I will venture out and hit sale. Either way, it is my day to do what I choose, since all of the Christmas expectations are gone...... just not forgotten. lol!

I hope everyone had a safe, and magical holiday season. I hope most of you found a way to serve others, whether you feel it was little or big, remember that each act of kindness supported with lobve, counts more than you can ever know.

Jen 

Angels Among us....

Every day, I try to find the wonderful things that other's are doing.
I see lot's of angels walking among us, and figured we should notice this more often.
Most recently, I am seeing a community come together, for the reason, of a little angel, whose time was cut short here on earth.
Little Ethan Stacy.....
On Facebook, their are numerous groups dedicated to this little boy, whom most of us didn't even know, yet, his story has touched us one way or another.
People are offering burial plots, money, services and more, for complete strangers. Wow! This is truly what paying it forward means.

Pay it forward people! We one day could be on the receiving end, and would appreciate all the help offered.

We are not immune from diseases, housefires, automobile accidents, horriffic deaths and more.
Why not help others, especially if you are in a place, where you can?
It isn't just money that helps, it is effort, a shoulder, and your heart filled with love and empathy for others.
The little things DO count, trust me. The little notes, the prayer at night, the thought that goes along with it.

Open your hearts, open your mind, and get creative with ways to help others. Without eachother, we are nothing. Remember that.

To end this post, thank the Lord for what you do have, and don't focus on what you do not have. Love others, and always be someone to help. Service of others brings such great feelings to you. Your heart fills with so much happiness. I am one who lives this, so I definitely, practice what I preach when it comes to this.

If someone runs out of gas, buy a little for them.
If someone is broken down, help them push their car
If someone can't pay the utility bill, help with that, or gather help
Mow a neighbors yard who isn't as able to do that as you
Teach a child to love others, and help
Cash in your coin jars, and kids jars, and donate the money to a foundation or cause you want to.
Open the door in a store for others
Help someone with their groceries

*Great examples of how to be on of the angels walking amongst us....

Much love,
Jen

Inspiring, yet sad week...

This week has been a rollercoaster of emotions, at our household.

Sunday night, around half time of the super bowl, my dad noticed a firetruck 3 houses up.

As I sat thinking, " I hope it is not Christi" my feeling went away, as she had CONQUERED breast cancer, so I thought.

Apparently, it had spread to her spine and lungs, leaving her bedridden, and spending months at a time in the hospital.

How did I not know this? Braxton plays with her two boys......

Sure enough, the ambulance, took her away, and apparently, within the hour, she passed away.

1 good thing: She was watching the superbowl with her family, kids, siblings, parents, etc. She was able to see most of them, and how special that had to be.

Christi was a private lady, 32 years old, married, and had 3 boys, 2 of which are 4 and 8.

She was always outside with her kids while they played, and so welcoming of the other kids to come around too.

I had the opportunity after my surgery to really have a heart to heart with her, where she spoke of her breast cancer battle, her life, her kids and more.

That day was quite an inspiring one.

You see, I have only known 1 other person that passed away from Breast cancer, my aunt. I am so hurt to say, that I did not know her well, as I was an adult.

I was not there for my cousins, when she passed, nor my uncle. Certainly not because I didn't want to be, but because I didn't know how, and here I am, almost a stranger to my own family, how will they react to me?

That was just plain stupid of me~ In the past few years, I have been so lucky to get to know these cousins, and how beautiful they are inside and out. I have also been lucky to get to know my aunt better, through them. They are amazing! They watched their mother battle this sickness, helped and loved her through it all.

Even my uncle ( as we know, a lot of men can't handle this ) was by her side, taking care of her, showing that unconditional love he had for her. So deep.

So here I sit, wondering what to do to help, thinking I should back off.... Nope, not me, I am not doing that again!

I am going to help, love, or whatever either close or from a distance. These two little boys are Braxton's buddies. They are my buddies too!

She welcomed my son, I welcome theirs.

Braxton really wanted to do something for them, so we took over a basket of games and books yesterday, expecting to be turned away, but nope.

With all of the sorrow and pain, this man is going through, he reached out, patted Braxton on the head, and said Hi Bud! WOW! How inspiring. In his hurt, he still knows to love. How come we all can't be like this? This shows me, what a great, loving, WONDERFUL, family they really are.

So, the inspiring part?

I am on a mission! Nope, sorry family, not an LDS one! A Breast Cancer one!

I WANT TO HELP!~ WE NEED TO HELP!

So, my next show, and those after are going to be dedicated to the people diagnosed with breast cancer, AND THEIR FAMILIES!

I want them to know that they are loved, and will never be forgotten.

We will be doing raffles at our shows, with the ticket sales going to the families of a loss, or the Susan G Komen foundation.

I will also be selling breast cancer ribbon jewelry, pens and more, and donating 100% of the profit, again, to the families, or the foundations!

What more can WE do? Let's wear those ribbons, let's wear pink, or red, or whatever color to show support, let's donate time, energy, and money to these wonderful foundations and people.

You never know, it could be you, or someone you love, or even it has been you.

Let's find a cure! We are losing so many beautiful people in this world, to such a sad, sickness, and you know what, it is not just the person diagnosed with cancer that has it, it is the ENTIRE FAMILY!

Please help, you can click on the Susan G Komen Link to make a donation, or come out to one of our shows and buy a raffle ticket, or better yet, a ribbon.

I want to end this with telling my beautiful cousins:

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I am so sorry for not being there for you.

I love you all, and am here for you now. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you.

Your mother loved you each so much, and your memories of her will be what you have left to cherish and share with your children.

Much love,

Jen

PS

You can see pic's of the items on my blog:

Tinker Bear Boutique

Blessings...

The month of November is almost over... We are embarking on the Holidays, the grand one.

I think of all the things I have to be thankful for, and don't have enough time to write them all down.

I am so thankful for having such a blessed life. There are so many people out there that have it worse than I,, or don't feel as blessed as Ido.

We are all so blessed, in so many, different ways.

We have our health, our families, our friends. We have homes we live in, cars we drive, and jobs to support us. A lot of this, we take for granted way to much.

When I was a young girl, I wanted badly to be two things in this life.

I have accomplished both of these things, not mastered.

1. a Wife

2. a Mother

I feel that without eachother, these are nothing to me. I needed to love someone with all of my heart, and I needed that love back. I get this from Joe. He gives me such unconditional love and support, that at times, I feel I don't deserve it.

Talk about unconditional love. My kids.

Braxton is my prince Charming, my romance, my little rock. He is always there telling me how pretty and "skinny" I am. Always mentioning how he wants to buy me diamonds.

He is there to wipe my tears, and also to hear my apoligies, when I am not the most perfect mommy.

My little Brynlee, our princess. She has taught me so much in her short 1 1/2 years with us.

Her smile, her soft cry, her words that only I can understand. Her hugs and now her kisses.

The way she looks at me, the way I look at her.

I never felt such a deep love, until these two appeared in my life.

I can never forget the true unconditional love, that of my 4 legged kids.

My Smokey, bless his soul, left me 2 years ago, and it still feels like just yesterday. My heart aches to hold him, to be yelled at by him, to hear his purr.

My sweet best friend in the UNIVERSE, my Bebe a Lebe, my Sassy Jo.

She has been with me for 16 + years, and never leaves me. She understands me, and loves me.

My Scooby Snax... Her chunkiness, her loving personality, and the thump as she jumps on my lap...

Deezer Liz, Gizmo... Circus Kitty jumps, the lick of my nose, the rubbing on my head...

B Ball, Snow ball. His snuggles into my neck, and lips kisses no one can match.

Our Sweet Molly, oh how she has brought so much joy to our family. Her puppy personality, yet her motherly touch to our kids.

Max... My little guard dog, my mushy face. He is always there at my feet in the morning, and in my bed at night.

Our little Trixie Lou Who.( Turtle) We love her so, we let her roam on the kitchen floor, take her outside in the summer, and let her get lost, where Molly can find her.

My house is a full one, but such a happy one too.

I hope everyone had a beautiful thanksgiving, and gave thanks to the man above for all of the wondrous things he has provided us with.

It's almost Time!!

We are so stinking excited, at the Morton household, for HALLOWEEN!

We have our costumes, and our house and yard decorated!

It has been a fun month, with a Trick or Treat Bootique, and school things!

Braxton this year, is now " Jedi". He picked out the costume while we were at Disney World in Sept.

He has been invited to his first Hallween Party, which is today. He is super excited, to work some jedi powers on the other kids!

Brynlee was spoiled, and our wonderful friend Rozzi, made her costume. She is Snow White.

She doesn't have the dark hair anymore, but maybe Snow White, wanted to lighten up her locks anyway, right?

Joe is going to be a Pirate! Boy am I excited for that one! He has the whole get up, and I am hoping to get some pic's done tomorrow!!!

Me, well, I am spoiled too, and Rozzi custom made my costume, and I will be Snow White too.

I will have the hair though, and the horrible red lipstick, and bright red cheeks.

We have Miko, Brian and their kids coming over tomorrow, along with Crumpa. He is going to take the kids out trick or treating.

We will also go and visit Great Grandma Wilson, so she can see the kids in their costumes, and afterwards, may hit a mall for some trick or treating.

Pizza for dinner, and a spooky yard for our guests.... I can't wait!

Here are some pic's from the show, in my costume, and also some phone pic's of the kids in theirs!

I hope everyone has a safe, but FUN halloween!

I need a sounding board....

I will apologize first, if this gets to long. I am in much need of a sounding board, and am going to use my chance!

The past month has been hell around here. Not with Joe and I, but with people in our lives!!!
It really started in July, when we found out that yet again, Joe's family has been running their mouths. A lot of hurtful things were said and blame put on us, for things we did not do, but they did.
At that point, after 13 years of this, Joe had had enough and called his mom to confront her.
She indirectly admitted to something, and denied the rest. You would think an apology would have come at some point, but did not.
Well, she didn't call Joe for a few months, at the point, when she did, apparently, he wouldn't take her calls. ( I don't know for sure, as this was while he was at work.)
Now, for the past 13 yrs. these people have blamed me for everything under the sun, refusing to put the blame on Joe for the things he was doing or not doing. You see, I want you all to know that I have had a gun to his head for 13 yrs. Yes, you know me!!! I am evil, a bitch, and dislike people for no reason at all. So, I wonder why I get called a rug, if these things are true? Something to think about, right?
Anyway, Joe's mom FINALLY called our house in October, yes October. June-October?
Leaving a message, crying that she wanted to see the kids, still no apology, as I don't deserve one and neither does Joe.
In the midst of all of this, we have heard from Joe's dad few times, but no sibling calls.
Now, the same week that his mother called, his uncle ( STEP UNCLE ) decide to post something nasty about Joe on a mutual friends facebook site. Let me rewind a bit, about a month ago, this same man, also posted some very hurtful things about me on MY FACEBOOK SITE. Do you think anyone stood up for me, I think not.... Also, his cousin, posted some opionionated things on my site , and with the combination of both, Joe decided to delete his family off of my site, minus a handful. But, again, that was me with my gun.......
So, after Joe's uncles nasty remarks about Joe's BALLS, I decided enough was enough. I am so done with the mudslinging, and I will confront who Joe and I feel is responsible, his mother and step dad.
So I place the call, of course after talking to Joe about it first. It was a 4 minute message I left her. Mind you, I did not swear or name call, but I was very stern and brutally honest.
You see, with all this going on for 13 years, all my son knows of them is the way they hurt me. They have said and done things in front of him, that had him in tears, and by this point, Braxton is walking around saying" She isn't my grandma". Yes, he is young, but a very wise child. He can tell my emotions, and he can see the way they treat me.
So I mention in the call the way Braxton feels and the way her son feels, and that her issues are with him, as I no longer want anything to do with Joe's family. Please forgive me, but 13 years of being blamed, back stabbed, you name it, and I am done dealing with them. I don't owe them anything. I don't want negative people in my life. That is it, period! Nor around my children, when these same people yell at me inside restaurants, and you know why? Because I was helping her son and his family in a time of need. Just so you know, they don't like his wife either, or they didn't for 22 yrs.

If you know me, I am the one who always stands up for people, therefor I am the bitch. I figure if you want to sling mud, do it fairly. This family doesn't know how to do that. I don't have anything to say that I won't or haven't said to your face, and further more, I don't appreciate being blamed for words that I DID NOT SAY, that someone else did!

So, after this phone call, it has been peaceful. No drama coming into my facebook, or emails. My phone is not ringing, well, it only rang that one time anyway.

I feel bad for making her feel bad, as I am quite certain that is what happened, and although I wanted to apologize, I did not. Why? I am done. Just done with it all. I have never gotten an apology from them, never will, and I meant business with that call.

It gets even more sad. So Joe proceeds to tell me how he really doesn't know his family, he never has, and that it has just been control things with them. He mentioned something that if I heard my brother say, I would just die of a broken heart. I can not repeat it. That is for him to tell his siblings, not me.....

You know, I have come to learn a lot in life, and I can appreciate a lot more by having the knowledge I have.

People come in and out of your life for a reason. This is true, however, when people are a constant negative, unsupportive, un kind, then you have that choice whether you continue to let such people stay in your life. I have made my choice and so has Joe.

One thing they never could learn is to shut their damn mouths. They would talk to whoever would listen. Trust me, I have had people I don't know confront me on things, or things said that I only knew came from them. So you would think the philosophy of " I don't have to go home with them at night" would work, it doesn't. You know, there are 3 sides to a story, his. hers and the truth.

I have spent years feeling about myself, the way they try to make me look to others. I feel ugly, and mean, and unloved. Well, sorry. Those days are over. I am not ugly, nor mean, or even unloved.
I have a huge support system in my life, from my side of the family, to friends. I don't need them.
Now, for future reference, I did take the gun down away from Joe's pretty face and told him that he could go see these people if he ever wanted to. My only stipulation is the kids don't go without me. If these people will tear me apart in front of my kids, what will they do when I am not there?
You would think they would have enough respect for me, that I gave birth to these kids, but maybe Joe did that on his own. Who knows.

I feel strongly that family is not who you are born with or into, but those that you choose to love and who choose to love you back.

I don't think anyone deserves to be abused in such manners by family, and that it is okay, because they are family. If people truly loved their family, they would love them for who they are, not criticize them for the person they aren't.

I love all people, I have LDS friends, Catholic friends, gay, lesbian and straight friends. I have hispanic, white and african american friends. I have friend with college degrees, many without, friends with kids, friends without.
Now, I may not always agree with what they do, but that is what makes our relationships so wonderful. We have knowledge to gain from one another. I am not in their shoes, nor they in mine. We don't always see eye to eye, but we always feel our hearts to heart.
I love all of you who support me and continue to do so. I love that you have let me into your lives to get to know you better, and further more, have taken the time to do the same back with me.
You know, I have gotten really tired of always being the one to initiate relationships. Always make the call, so I really appreciate when you all do that for me.
I know our lives get busy, I know we have families, but you should know that I am always thinking of you in some way or another, and that I love you dearly.